Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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