She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
