I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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