I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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