I just made out with a guy for $7.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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