I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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