why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize