last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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