i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
