I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
