you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Even my vagina gasped.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
