If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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