I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
