i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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