so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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