dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
