I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
