That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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