May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
