I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
