If i could tip my vagina, i would.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
