Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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