Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.

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(760): View more from California

Man, ugly runs in her family

(619): View more from California

yeah, big time

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(831): View more from California

I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.

(1-831): View more from California

Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you

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(352): View more from Florida

i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut

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(713): View more from Texas

Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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(619): View more from California

No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

Fav 6 3544 957
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(409): View more from Texas

don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.

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