it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
