guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
