My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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