3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
