Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
