the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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