i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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