Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
