He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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