a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
