Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
