well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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