I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
