you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
