I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
