well I can't set my house on fire every night
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
