Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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