I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
