Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
