So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize
