Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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