The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
