Say something about gay babies.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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