I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
