let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
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