she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
