I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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