oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
